Why I Bought a Condo in Mississauga

Built In Maintenance ~ Bliss!

December 2006 Mississsauga ON What I want, what I really, really want is a driveway with embedded heating coils. And not just plain heating coils: I want a built in sensor that activates the minute it senses snow, then swiftly warms the pavement and zaps each flake before it gets comfy. Just how this would be achiieved, I cannot say, other than that several factors would have to come into play in an orderly fashion. The first requirement would be a major lottery win, either my own or that of someone who loves me dearly and hates to see me suffer.

This wish came to mind this afternoon, when the temperature outside warmed up to a positively balmy minus 1C (30F), albeit with a brisk wind straight from the north. This was significant, as within 24 hours, the temperature would plummet to minus 18C ( about 0F) or so, and -- you guessed it -- all the snowy and icy flotsam on the drive would become rock solid.

No matter, as at this balmy temperature, my pellets of high-tech ice melter could do the work for which they were designed -- Melt ice. That ice melters are useless when it's too cold is perhaps something their developers could look into.

Retire the snow Shovel for good!

In any event, before the ice melter could make contact with the ice, the loose snow on top had to go. And there's the work. Really decent ice adheres to the pavement with a tenacity that would do a space shuttle tile proud, and this stuff had NASA written all over it. You need an ice chipper -- like a shovel but with a thin, brick-shaped end instead of a scoop. But be careful! If you hit the pavemet below with too much force,you'll leave gouges in the pavement.

And there's a time limit -- Do this hard work Before The Temperature Drops and the wet slush mess becomes a solid mass of ice -- but do it after the snow plow has left a 2-foot furrow of snow across the street end of your drive so you can clear it, too, before it becomes immovable barrier to freedom.

It's easy to miss seeing an icy furrow when everything is white, and you are backing you car out of the drive. One time, I didn't see it but I sure heard it. As I backed the car out, I felt the rear end rise at the same time I heard a sickening crunch. This is known to be a bad-word generator, and it's very effective.

Back to the digging out. As the icy wind whipped shards of snow into my face, down my neck and up my sleeves, it occurred to me that I understood the whole snow-shovel, ice-scraper concept, and, with years of practice under my belt, I'd long since mastered snow and ice removal. It was time to move on, to somewhere warm, like Uruguay, perhaps. A tad drastic, granted, but closer than Bora Bora or Tahiti.

Anyhow, turns out I had another alternative : a Condo. And that's how I came to live in Port Credit, on Lake Ontario. In this cozy townhouse with underground parking, I laugh at ice and snow storms. Here, the condo maintenance crew has the snow cleared before I've finished my morning coffee. Sick of shovelling snow? Give condos a try! If not, there's always Uruguay.
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